Movin' On Up

This summer we had two goals for ourselves:

1. Sell our house.
2. Buy a new one.

These two goals have consumed our lives for the past two months and have bled into every area of them in one way or another. At this point we have achieved goal #1 and are a week or two away from achieving goal #2, God willing. For me, this whole process has been an exercise in restraint (of my own anxious tendencies), walking in faith, and trusting God with everything, repeatedly. 

Sitting here in my backyard on a breezy, yet balmy morning, I'm being flooded by all the fond memories we've made in this place. Now that we've sold this house and are now tenants in our former home, the memories come in a steady flow. Our family grew from 4 to 6 while we've lived here. It was the first home I've ever purchased and the first home either of us has ever sold. We've spent countless hours playing on the kids' play-set, entertaining friends on the patio, and relaxing in the back by the fire. My kids created a "secret hiding spot" among the trees that line the back fence, complete with kid sized chairs, toy trucks, and secret entrances. It's where they'd hold their "meetings" and pretend to eat "chocolate" (a.k.a. tree bark) and "salad" (a.k.a. leaves). I've spent many mornings drawing much needed strength from the Lord for my day out here, listening to the wind rustling through the trees and the chirping of the birds & squirrels, waiting for my cute bunny friend to show up. We let go of a lot of "must haves" when it came to this house because we were smitten with the yard. It's a very different scenario with the new house.

With our new house, we've done the opposite. We've let go of a lot of our "must haves" in the yard in favor of a beautiful house. Don't get me wrong, I love the house we're in now, always have. Still we bought this house because of the yard and we are buying our new house despite it. The new yard is not as large, but we knew that matching the size of our current yard would be tough. The new yard is not fenced and it backs to a noisy road. The owner laid down a ton of concrete that, most of which, we plan to remove. There is a large berm in the back to help with sound that is actually very pretty, but it does eat up a good portion of the yard. All that being said, we have big plans for the yard that we are going to set in motion right away so I know it will be better, but that hasn't stopped me from losing sleep over it most nights. 

This is where the exercises I mentioned earlier (in restraint, faith, and trusting God) come into play most dramatically for me. I'm constantly restraining myself from worrying about how I'm going to like the yard and from looking at other homes still for sale online. Yesterday I noticed that one of my favorite houses (from the outside anyway), in my most desired location, came back on the market. It was all I could do to talk myself down from ledge of disappointment and onto solid ground of God's provision. I know this is God's will for our family at this time, and I trust Him completely. The way all this has worked out could only be God's hand in motion. We've sought His guidance and He has given it, as always. I take great comfort that, despite my misgivings, this is where I know He wants me to go, and that is the only place I want to be. I know that even if we can't do all we have planned with the yard and all my other concerns regarding our new house come to pass, the Lord is with me and He will be my peaceful refuge. He will be the One who refuels my soul when I feel empty, not this piece of property. He will be the one to reset my anxious mind, not a certain spot among the trees. He will make me to lie down in green pastures, even if I can extend my arm and touch a slab of ill-placed concrete.

This doesn't mean it won't be hard to say goodbye and leave this house for the last time. I'm getting a bit choked up just thinking about it now. It does mean, however, that the sadness I feel is surrounded by the overwhelming joy I have in the knowledge that God is leading us forward into whatever His plans are for us. He has made this portion of His path for us clear and there is no better feeling than to know that we're on it. Thank you, Lord, for your wisdom, guidance, discernment, and unending love. Thank you for always taking care of us, no matter what. We love you and can't wait to see what it is you have in store for us in this next season of our lives. To You be the glory, oh merciful King of all kings.