Wednesday, June 14, 2017

There is Always a Choice

This morning I was reading through Proverbs 14. My habit is to take a verse or two that sticks out to me and write a bit about it. Then, when finished, I ask God what He wants me to do with this day; my "marching orders", so to speak. Today He wanted me to post my thoughts on verse 12. Maybe He wanted me to post it for you. :)

Proverbs 14:12 (NLT) There is a path before each person that seems right, but it ends in death.

Every moment of every day we are facing multiple possible paths. Each step we take either brings us closer to the Lord or further from Him. I don't think it's always only just two choices, meaning only two paths to choose from: the right and the wrong. Often there are many paths (decisions) we can make in the moment. If the enemy can't get you to make the blatantly bad choice, he'll try to keep you from making the ultimately good one.

Sometimes there is more than one ultimately good choice, where God will do amazing things either way. The same is true for the bad choices where God's light does not shine. For every moment though, God has promised that He will provide you with the path that leads to Him. He will never leave you without an out. He will never forsake you to the darkness. There is always a way back to Him. There is always a good choice.

Sometimes what we want is so strong that we imagine we see the light of God down paths of darkness and shadows. Sometimes when we take that step, we realize what we've done and immediately regret the decision. Sometimes we know we were only fooling ourselves when we started walking, and the shame of that knowing drives us to go even further into the darkness. Sometimes we are so deceived we still think the light is shining on us until suddenly, one day, it's not, and the truth of our chosen path is revealed.

This is why staying connected to God at all times is so vitally important. Our tendency to be swayed by the enemy and our ability to effectively deceive ourselves puts us in grave danger daily. For before each of us is a path that seems right, but it ends in death.


Saturday, January 28, 2017

An Afternoon with Syrian Refugees

Yesterday was a day that will mark me forever.

When volunteering to help out at the Samaritas office earlier on in the week, I learned of two New American (refugee) families who each needed transportation to Children's Hospital in Detroit. Being in between jobs right now I have more time available than usual so I signed up to help. By the time Friday rolled around only one of the families still needed a ride so I received their information and plotted my route. I was a little nervous about being able to communicate since I knew the mother only knew a little English, but I was excited to be able to help.

Upon arriving at their home I was greeted warmly by the father. The mother came to the door, small child in her arms, smiled and said "Jessica? Hospital?". I smiled and confirmed. By this time another young child is standing next to me, beautiful big brown eyes looking up into mine, sweet little smile on her face. I smile at her and introduce myself. She beams and does the same. 4 years old. My heart melts a little.

We head to my van and secure the appropriate car seats. It's now that I realize that the small child in the mother's arms is severely handicapped. Unable to even hold her own head up, tiny legs lying limp and unused, the only seemingly voluntary movement she's able to make is to bring her hand to her mouth to suck on it. I thank God I still have my 5 point harness car seat. I help adjust the seat belt as she is so small I need to tighten it as far as I can get it to go. I readjust her head and push her deep brown curls out of her eyes. 3 years old. My heart breaks a little.

We don't really talk much on the ride to the hospital as it's hard to beat the language barrier when you have to keep your eyes on the road and the mother (I'm going to call her "Gratitude") has to sit in the seat next to her 3 year old (I'm going to call her "Love") so she can keep her head from falling forward. I figure this is what an Uber driver feels like. We arrive at the hospital and I manage to park in the world's tightest parking structure without damaging any vehicles. It's a win.

I've been to this hospital before with one of my own daughters, so I remember that the elevator system is rather confusing. This does nothing to stop me from taking us to the wrong level immediately however, so there goes the illusion that I know what I'm doing! We figure it out with the help of a parking lot attendant however and make it inside the main lobby. I ask Gratitude if she knows where she is going, and she does not, so we head to the information desk. It's here where I start my role as advocate or, more accurately called, clumsy non-interpreter. I give the woman at the desk the family's name, she sends us on our way. We reach the appropriate office and I approach the registration desk. As the man behind the desk starts explaining the paperwork we need to fill out, he offers us a copy of one form in Arabic. One form out of five. "Better than nothing!" I say, then we sit down in the waiting room to try to fill the forms out. Surprisingly, we get it done with little trouble (The whole time I forget that I downloaded the Google Translate app on my phone for this day. I never think to bring it out. Not once.). Shortly thereafter a nurse calls Love's name and, Praise God!, this wonderful nurse starts speaking to Gratitude in Arabic. We establish what is going to be done and that I am going to be here to drive them back home when it is finished. I head back into the waiting room while Gratitude, Love, and the 4 year old I'll call "Light" headed for the MRI machine.

After about an hour and a half the family re-enters the waiting room, surprising as that was half the amount of time I was told it would take. Everything is all set so we head back out to the parking structure designed by a fan of Smart Cars and loaded ourselves back into the van. Light could not be more excited as she was gifted a purple child's tea set by someone at the hospital. She hugs it to her chest, giggling and smiling, chatting constantly. She's munching on graham crackers she also got from the hospital and Gratitude hands me an unopened package and says "Please, eat.". I'm touched she thought of me. We smile at each other as I thank her and take the crackers. My heart smiles a lot.

As we pull out I suddenly hear some Arabic man singing behind me. It's Gratitude's phone. I hear her speaking softly. A prayer. It's brief but beautiful. I have no idea what it said, but I love the sound. Sacred.

Upon arrival at the family's home, Gratitude invites me into their home for coffee. I excitedly accept, thanking God that the appointment took half the time it should have so that I still had time before needing to go pick up my own children from school. Gratitude's husband, who had been out on a driving lesson, was home again (I'll call him Peace), and we all sat in the living room drinking small cups of strong, earthy coffee and getting to know one another as best we could. Gratitude, originally from Jordan, had come here from Syria 2 months prior. As she spoke to me, insisting I eat another of the chocolates from the dish she had placed before me, she translated for Peace who speaks no English and repeatedly wiped and kissed the face of Love as she laid on the couch beside her. Light was busy delightedly serving everyone tea from her new tea set. Gratitude asked me something about breakfast, which I thought to be very random as it was after 1 in the afternoon. She says something to Peace in Arabic and he disappears into the kitchen. Shortly after he reemerges with a plate of chicken shawarma and a bottle of water and I realize she was trying to ask me if I'd like to have lunch. Gratitude smiles and tells me "please, eat!". I obliged her happily. So good. We talked about the food. She was so happy I liked it. Next thing I know she's bringing me a can of Hawaiian punch. It's like she knew how much I love beverages. I drink and eat and we talk. Peace was a auto mechanic in Syria, but he's having trouble finding work here. Light "paints" my nails with  a bubble wand she's brought out to show me. We laugh and pretend to put makeup on each other. Everyone laughs. Children are one of our many common denominators. My heart nearly bursts.

The time comes when I have to leave. I'm overwhelmed by their warmth and hospitality. I feel I have made new friends and I make a note to let Samaritas know I want to help this family out again so we can build this relationship. Gratitude obviously feels it too, as I try to communicate that I hope to see her again soon, she says "you can come here everyday". Peace looks at me and says "thank you", yet again. Light giggles and waves, giggles and waves, then suddenly disappears into the house and comes running back out to hand me yet another can of Hawaiian punch. Gratitude and I both laugh as I thank both her and Light for their generosity. I think on how isolating being a New American must be, despite it being "much better" than the situation Gratitude's family had found themselves in before coming here. My heart aches for them.

The ride to get my kids was full of emotions. From joy to sorrow, smiles to tears. My world had grown again and I was struggling to process it all. Then I hear of what the now leader of my country has done to ban refugees, and I have to fight off despair. What will become of Gratitude, Peace, Love, and Light in this new and more hostile country? I struggle to understand how anyone claiming to believe in God could do such a monstrous thing. I wonder if he's ever sat down with a New American family and genuinely listened with a heart to find what unites us rather than divides us. If he's ever experienced the hospitality of people who want to share with him what little they have because they are fellow human beings, longing for connection, and understanding. I'm guessing the answer is no, as if it were otherwise, he wouldn't dream of signing that order. That's the danger of living in your own bubble. That's what happens when your focus is only on "your own".

We can't let our doors be slammed in the face of fellow human beings who desperately need our help. We can't be those people who turn away and choose indifference. Please, call, write, march, advocate, and volunteer to show this new leader that We The People believe in an America where there is justice and liberty for all, no matter where your country of origin may be. Remember, he works for US. Not the other way around. Make your voice heard and, more importantly, get up and make your presence felt. Help in anyway you can, and we ALL can.

Every choice you make determines the life you live. What will you choose to do now?

Call your legislators, you can even use a script! http://thesixtyfive.org/home
Sign a petition! http://www.unhcr.org/refugeeday/petition/
Volunteer! From office work to teaching ESL, there is something for everyone! www.samaritas.org


Monday, January 9, 2017

Feel It So He Can Heal It

Part of my homework this week for a group I am in at church was to watch a video of the service held two weeks ago on January 1st. (That's right, I wasn't present in church to see it that day. For SHAME!! lol) It is entitled: "No More Faking Fine" and is an interview our Pastor did with the author of the book by that title, Esther Fleece. (I have not read the book yet)

I'll admit, I didn't really think I needed to watch this service. Ever since the holidays came to an end, and thus, my seasonal job, I have been trying to catch up with everything I neglected during those 2 months in which I worked nearly non-stop. I didn't want to take 45 minutes out of my morning to watch a video on what I was sure was a topic I had nailed down already. I mean, I've had people tell me that I tell people too much, for crying out loud! I'm pretty good at sharing my honest feelings when with trusted people (and occasionally complete strangers), but that's not the core of what the talk was about. As I'm sure you've already surmised, I really did need to watch this talk after all. Surprise, surprise...... :o)

What I learned from those 45 minutes was that I am missing the process of truly lamenting: bringing my distresses, sorrows, anguish, and anxieties to God and allowing Him to meet me there in them. Don't get me wrong, I pray and I bring my joys as well as my struggles to God in that time, but it's more like a drive-thru type of situation. I pull up, handover my praises and problems, make my requests, then "thanks and see you later". I often sit and spend time with God when I'm waiting to hear something from Him, but I rarely sit and spend time going in depth about how my tough situations are affecting me with Him. What I am missing is true lamenting; sitting in the pain, disappointment, fear, whatever it is, so as to be able to completely express myself to God. To allow myself to fully feel it so that God can enter in and fully heal it.

It brought to my mind the image of modern credit card readers and their predecessors. I've been just swiping my card and moving on to the next stop in my long list of errands without allowing any time for any actual healing, let alone any time to hear from God at all on those subjects. What I should be doing is taking that card and placing in one of those old card imprinters. You know the kind (well, maybe if you're over 30): plastic tray, carbon paper, plastic slide. You have to allow the card to sit there and apply physical pressure as you slide over the card and push it into the paper hard enough to leave an imprint. The paper becoming a physical representation of what was on the card. Then that imprint can be taken and what is shown on the card allows access to what is "in" the card (i.e. your money). When you swipe the card, the same information is exchanged, but the person receiving the benefit of that information (payment) never gets to "see" all the information that allowed that payment to take place. They just know that it did.

It's quite the same way when we look at the quick "Help me Lord with _______, give me strength to endure. In Jesus' name, amen.",  versus really sitting down and bringing our struggle and ALL that goes with it to God in prayer. Laying down our fear, doubt, questions, anger, etc.., and letting God enter into all of it with us. The former informs God of our situation (He already knows), and then moves on to the next thing. Swipe the card, grab your receipt and head for the exit. The latter invites meaningful relationship with our Creator as we stop hiding (He already knows!) and divulge to Him all that is weighing on our souls. Pushing into Him to leave an imprint of who we are so He can take it away with Him. Allowing us to join in Christ's sufferings and subsequently, His healing. This is what God truly wants from us: deep honesty. Access.


We have to allow ourselves to fully feel it if we want to allow God to fully heal it.


Even knowing this, I still feel reluctant to actually do it. This isn't going to be easy or fun. No one wants to sit in their grief and allow themselves to truly feel it, and I'm no exception. The idea honestly scares me. However, I know this is how the bondage is broken. I've done it before and experienced freedom, though it seems I've forgotten that in recent years.

How can God truly protect our souls if we refuse to give Him full access? Technically, sure, He can force His way in and force His will on us should He choose, but He doesn't. That's not how He rolls. God is not pushy, nor does He force His will on any of us; we must choose to let Him in ourselves. Free will. We have to invite Him in and ask Him to meet us where we are, and willingly give to Him all that we have. The good, the bad, and the ugly. Only then will He take it and make us new again; and He will. 

I highly recommend viewing the service yourself! You can do so by clicking here. 

Embrace and be embraced.

I want to hear from you!

If what you read made you think, let me know! I'd love to engage with you. Comments and likes onFacebook, Instagram, Twitter, and these blog posts help me out. We're all in this together!