Feel It So He Can Heal It

Part of my homework this week for a group I am in at church was to watch a video of the service held two weeks ago on January 1st. (That's right, I wasn't present in church to see it that day. For SHAME!! lol) It is entitled: "No More Faking Fine" and is an interview our Pastor did with the author of the book by that title, Esther Fleece. (I have not read the book yet)

I'll admit, I didn't really think I needed to watch this service. Ever since the holidays came to an end, and thus, my seasonal job, I have been trying to catch up with everything I neglected during those 2 months in which I worked nearly non-stop. I didn't want to take 45 minutes out of my morning to watch a video on what I was sure was a topic I had nailed down already. I mean, I've had people tell me that I tell people too much, for crying out loud! I'm pretty good at sharing my honest feelings when with trusted people (and occasionally complete strangers), but that's not the core of what the talk was about. As I'm sure you've already surmised, I really did need to watch this talk after all. Surprise, surprise...... :o)

What I learned from those 45 minutes was that I am missing the process of truly lamenting: bringing my distresses, sorrows, anguish, and anxieties to God and allowing Him to meet me there in them. Don't get me wrong, I pray and I bring my joys as well as my struggles to God in that time, but it's more like a drive-thru type of situation. I pull up, handover my praises and problems, make my requests, then "thanks and see you later". I often sit and spend time with God when I'm waiting to hear something from Him, but I rarely sit and spend time going in depth about how my tough situations are affecting me with Him. What I am missing is true lamenting; sitting in the pain, disappointment, fear, whatever it is, so as to be able to completely express myself to God. To allow myself to fully feel it so that God can enter in and fully heal it.

It brought to my mind the image of modern credit card readers and their predecessors. I've been just swiping my card and moving on to the next stop in my long list of errands without allowing any time for any actual healing, let alone any time to hear from God at all on those subjects. What I should be doing is taking that card and placing in one of those old card imprinters. You know the kind (well, maybe if you're over 30): plastic tray, carbon paper, plastic slide. You have to allow the card to sit there and apply physical pressure as you slide over the card and push it into the paper hard enough to leave an imprint. The paper becoming a physical representation of what was on the card. Then that imprint can be taken and what is shown on the card allows access to what is "in" the card (i.e. your money). When you swipe the card, the same information is exchanged, but the person receiving the benefit of that information (payment) never gets to "see" all the information that allowed that payment to take place. They just know that it did.

It's quite the same way when we look at the quick "Help me Lord with _______, give me strength to endure. In Jesus' name, amen.",  versus really sitting down and bringing our struggle and ALL that goes with it to God in prayer. Laying down our fear, doubt, questions, anger, etc.., and letting God enter into all of it with us. The former informs God of our situation (He already knows), and then moves on to the next thing. Swipe the card, grab your receipt and head for the exit. The latter invites meaningful relationship with our Creator as we stop hiding (He already knows!) and divulge to Him all that is weighing on our souls. Pushing into Him to leave an imprint of who we are so He can take it away with Him. Allowing us to join in Christ's sufferings and subsequently, His healing. This is what God truly wants from us: deep honesty. Access.

We have to allow ourselves to fully feel it if we want to allow God to fully heal it.

Even knowing this, I still feel reluctant to actually do it. This isn't going to be easy or fun. No one wants to sit in their grief and allow themselves to truly feel it, and I'm no exception. The idea honestly scares me. However, I know this is how the bondage is broken. I've done it before and experienced freedom, though it seems I've forgotten that in recent years.

How can God truly protect our souls if we refuse to give Him full access? Technically, sure, He can force His way in and force His will on us should He choose, but He doesn't. That's not how He rolls. God is not pushy, nor does He force His will on any of us; we must choose to let Him in ourselves. Free will. We have to invite Him in and ask Him to meet us where we are, and willingly give to Him all that we have. The good, the bad, and the ugly. Only then will He take it and make us new again; and He will. 

I highly recommend viewing the service yourself! You can do so by clicking here. 

Embrace and be embraced.