I'm Done.

I've been a serious follower of Christ for years now. I do everything I can to stay on God's path for me and exemplify Jesus in everything I do. However, one area I have always seemed to get caught up on was this world itself.  I could never honestly say that I wouldn't be more than a little miffed if Jesus returned before I had a chance to see my kids off to college, or hold my grandchildren, or live in a house with my husband and no one else.....until Friday.

Did you hear that?

So many times I have wondered, and asked, and prayed, for God to show me His will for me. I've asked for guidance in all kinds of situations; big and small, short-term and long reaching. So many times I've opted to do nothing (sometimes we Christians call this "waiting") because I just couldn't be sure of what it was that God was calling me to do. This morning however, I have heard Him loud and clear, despite the fact that I have earplugs in to block out the noise of my kids who have decided to get up hours before the sun.

After Jesus rose from the dead, He made several appearances to key people in His life. The third time He payed a visit to some of His disciples, He had a conversation with Simon Peter that went like this: 

15When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?”

“Yes, Lord,” he said, “you know that I love you.”

Jesus said, “Feed my lambs.”

16Again Jesus said, “Simon son of John, do you love me?”

He answered, “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.”

Jesus said, “Take care of my sheep.”

17The third time he said to him, “Simon son of John, do you love me?”

Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, “Do you love me?”He said, “Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you.”

Jesus said, “Feed my sheep. (Jn 21:15-17) 

Did you hear Him? He's practically drilling it into Peter's head the way I hound my kids to cover their mouths when they sneeze. Three times He repeats himself, much to the chagrin of Peter. Three times He makes the connection: "If you love me, then you'll take care of my people." Now He's told me three times and, if you read the above, He's told you three times now as well. How many countless other times has He told me this before? Could His will for our lives really be that simple?

I believe it is. Sure, what follows has plenty of details but at the very core of what He asks us to do is this simple command. Everything He asks us to do can be boiled down to this very basic direction. If not, then I'd present to you that you're not in His will for you in the first place. If love for people isn't driving you to do what it is you think you're doing for God, then what is? This can be a real hard question to ask, but it must be done if you truly want to remain on the straight and narrow. I've found my true motivations to often be quite humbling, but facing the hard truth is what has brought me closest to God. I know without a doubt that if it weren't for Him and His Spirit living within me, I'd be an almost completely loveless person, for it is He who has put me back on the path of love time, and time again. And you know what? The more I step back on that path, the more my love for people grows. Funny how that works.

Jesus said, "Take care of my sheep."

It's that simple. Don't try to make it more complicated than it is. Once you start to operate on this most basic level, God will take notice and lead you where He wants you to go, but you have to start here. I didn't wake up one morning and say "I'm going to go on a mission trip to Haiti!", it was a long walk I took with God that lead me to that place, and it started with me finally hearing what He'd been trying to say to me all along: "Take care of my sheep.", and acting on it.

Everyone can do something! A friend of mine started an organization called LOVE Locally to help raise money for a local crisis pregnancy center, my 7 year old had a charity birthday party and raised enough money to change the lives of 7 families through World Vision. No matter how little time or money you have, you can take care of people in some way. Who will it be today?

Meeting For Coffee

For years now God has been telling me to get up before everyone else in my house and spend some time with Him. Years. Ask anyone I've ever been in a post-marital small group with and they'll verify that it was always a prayer request. With four kids (and even before), getting time during the day where it was quiet enough for me to be able to focus (Read: "silent". I have trouble focusing otherwise) was nearly impossible. Waiting until they had gone to bed proved equally as impossible as my brain has a built in shut off timer which seems irreversibly set to 7:30pm. Once 7:30 hits, there's just no hope for any brain activity above the basic maintenance level necessary for life.

On multiple occasions I would try getting up 30 minutes before everyone else. Seems good right? Wrong. By the time I was up, hit the bathroom, got a cup of coffee, and grabbed my bible, I had 15 minutes left before the proverbial bell rang and chaos ensued. Not much time to read, pray, and listen. At least not effectively anyway. So, after dabbling in the 30 minutes of failure repeatedly over the years, I knew an hour was what I really needed. In this house, getting up an hour earlier than the rest of the tribe means 5:00am. Five-flippin'-AM.  It is widely known that I am not a morning person. The thought of being conscious enough to witness that hour was brutalizing to my soul, but I knew that's what it would take. God had been telling me as much all along. Even Joyce Meyer told me once. Well, not just me, she told her entire broadcast area but I swear she had me in mind when she said it. (See Mark 10:27)

I am happy to report that by the grace of God, for about a month now, I have been getting up every day @ 5am to spend some time with God (6am on weekends since I force my children to remain in bed until 7am), and you know what? I LOVE it. I thought I would be more exhausted than ever shaving off an hour of sleep, but I find that the opposite has been true. All those years when God would wake me at 5am only for me to mumble some excuse as to why it couldn't be done and then go back to sleep....if I would have just done it anyway, where would I be now......? I do make sure to be in bed as close to 10pm as possible, but I've found that rather simple as well. I do nothing of value past 10pm and neither does the television so that hasn't been hard. What has been truly amazing to me is that I really don't miss the sleep. Spending that time with God has proven to be more rejuvenating than sleeping longer ever has been and now I find myself sincerely looking forward to getting up each day. If something happens and I miss that time, I feel it. The day seems a little darker without it.


Has God been nudging you to do the same? I write this to encourage you to DO IT! I promise you will not regret it! There is no better way to start your day and I know you'll agree if you can just make up your mind to start. Don't give up; keep trying until it sticks. Jesus is waiting for you there.

"In the morning, Lord, you hear my voice in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait expectantly." Ps 5:3

Stepping Out in Faith (An Open Letter to You)

Dear People I Love,

I hope this letter finds you well and that the holiday season has been joyful for you so far!  This Christmas season has taken a turn towards something exciting for me and I wanted to tell you more about it. 

This past year I have been doing a lot of reading about how the “rest of the world” lives and it has concerned me greatly. Just a couple months ago, I felt God was telling me that I needed to move from just reading about all the suffering to actually doing something about it.

In February, a group from my church will be going on a mission trip to the country of Haiti, a country where there are over 400,000 children without parents; a country where 96% of the population lacks regular access to basic health care; a country where 40% of the children will never go to school. With much prayer and thoughtful discussion, I have decided I will be going with them!

While in Haiti, I will have the opportunity to:

·         Work on construction teams

·         Spend time ministering to children living in a number of villages

·         Share Jesus with a country that has very little

·         Make a real difference by supporting Mission of Hope

We are making the trip February 16-23, 2013, down to Mission of Hope (www.mohhaiti.org), an organization that has worked for over 12 years in Haiti giving orphans a home, helping Haitians develop income producing skills, spreading the gospel, and providing food, medicine and education for Haitians in desperate need. The total cost of the trip is $1700, all of which I have pledged to raise myself.

In order to make this trip a reality, I need to raise all $1700 by February 1st, 2013. I’m writing you to ask you to prayerfully consider if God is leading you to help support me in this endeavor. Any amount you feel led to give will be received with the deepest gratitude, not just from me, but also from the people at Mission of Hope who rely on these mission trips to continue all the good work they are doing.

If you are not feeling led to support me financially at this time, I completely understand! I sincerely desire your prayers of support as I begin to plan for this mission trip. As you can imagine, raising support can seem daunting, but I know that if it is the Lord’s will that I make this trip, then He will provide. “..All things are possible with God.” Mark 10:27

There are two ways you can make a tax-deductible donation to our trip. Either message me with your address and I will mail you a donation slip and a pre-addressed envelope for you to send in a check, or donate on-line by going to the following link: www.kensingtonchurch.org/global/haiti_feb.php , making sure to put pick the Haiti Trip on February 16-23 and choose my name (Jessica Wheatley) as the trip attendee you are donating for. A reply by February 1, 2013 would be appreciated as all details of the trip must be finalized by then.

My desire is to allow God to use me to impact others for Him while allowing Him to change me at the same time. Please continue to pray for me as these plans fall into place. I am truly grateful for your support.

God bless you!

Jessica

P.s. Feel free to comment with any questions you have, I'd love to answer them!

He's Not a Tame Lion

One of my favorite books/movies (and there are a lot of them!) is The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe from C.S. Lewis' famous series, The Chronicles of Narnia. So, when it came on TV Sunday, the kids and I watched it. After all, it was our Sabbath Rest Day and it is an allegory for the Christian world view, so it fits, right? LOL

 (WARNING! Somewhat of a spoiler alert here, don't read on if you don't want clues to the end! I'm sure most everyone already knows but I felt I needed to warn just in case!)

Near the end of the film there is a dialog between Lucy and Mr Tumnus which I had completely forgotten about. Aslan (the Jesus figure portrayed as a Lion) is walking away, alone, after all the drama has subsided. It's clear He is leaving and Lucy is sad that it may be a long time before He returns. Her friend, Mr Tumnus, notices her disappointment and says "Don't worry, we'll see him again." When Lucy asks "When?", Mr Tumnus replies

 "In time. One day he'll be here, and the next he won't. But you must not press him. After all, he's not a tame lion."

If there is one thing I know C.S. Lewis does well, it's pointing out what we tend to overlook or forget about God's character. Reading in Numbers 14 this morning reminded me of how much I love this quote for it's simple truth. In Numbers 13 & 14, the people are once again complaining that God should have left them in Egypt where their lives were easier even though they were slaves. They sent scouts to the land God had promised to give them and all but two of them came back reporting of the fearsome giant people who inhabited it and how they would never conquer them as God said they would. At this point it appears that God has had enough and, as punishment for their grumbling, disbelief, & disobedience, He swears that none of those people will ever live to see the promised land.  

Ouch. In verses 27-35, God goes on to say "How long will this wicked community grumble against me? I have heard the complaints of these grumbling Israelites. So tell them, 'As surely as I live, declares the  Lord , I will do to you the very thing I heard you say: In this wilderness your bodies will fall—every one of you twenty years old or more who was counted in the census and who has grumbled against me. Not one of you will enter the land I swore with uplifted hand to make your home, except Caleb son of Jephunneh and Joshua son of Nun (These are the two scouts who trusted the Lord would deliver the promised land as He said He would). As for your children that you said would be taken as plunder, I will bring them in to enjoy the land you have rejected. But as for you, your bodies will fall in this wilderness. Your children will be shepherds here for forty years, suffering for your unfaithfulness, until the last of your bodies lies in the wilderness. For forty years—one year for each of the forty days you explored the land—you will suffer for your sins and know what it is like to have me against you.' I, the  Lord , have spoken, and I will surely do these things to this whole wicked community, which has banded together against me. They will meet their end in this wilderness; here they will die." (parenthesis added by me)

"After all, he's not a tame lion."

Ouch again. Through the amazing gift of Jesus, we are immediately forgiven of our offenses when we ask Him to be. However, because of that, I think we easily forget just how bad our consequences would be if not for His sacrifice on our behalf. We tend to look at God as this warm and fuzzy smiling Grandpa in the sky who wants to make us hot cocoa on a snowy day. The truth is, as much as He is perfect love and light, He is also righteous wrath and power. 

Mr Tumnus: "But you must not press him. After all, he's not a tame lion."

Lucy: "No, but he is good."

God gets angry. God doles out punishments for disobedience. God can not be kept on a leash. He's not a genie in a bottle, waiting to grant our wishes. However, God is love and His love for us knows no bounds. God knew that on our own we'd never be able to be enter into His Kingdom, so He sent Jesus to take our punishment for us so that we would have a chance at eternity with Him. (I say chance because you have to accept that invitation for yourself. He doesn't make us accept it or automatically grant it upon a person's birth.) Jesus is the buffer between our mistakes and God's complete Holiness. Now, all who accept Jesus' sacrifice for them, the children of God, are on a level playing field.  Thanks to Jesus, God can look at us with a smile on His face because God is looking at us through the perfect lens of Jesus. For that, I am eternally grateful.

Do you enjoy the works of C.S. Lewis? Which of his writings has inspired you most? I'd love to hear about them!

It Comes Down Through the Father.

Miriam and Aaron represented the priests and the prophets which were the two most powerful groups next to Moses. They had grown jealous of Moses and, since they could not find fault with him, they choose to start gossiping about his wife and undermining Moses true value to the people. (Yes, even in biblical times people were catty.) God's method of disciplining them for their backbiting made me smile a little in spite of the seriousness of it.

Perhaps that's where I get my temper from. ;O) 

Wow. Chalk this up to another one of the myriad of reasons why I'm thankful to Jesus for redeeming me! I can just imagine this situation being a lot like me calling over two of my kids for being mean to one of the others, except for the fact that I'm not God (clearly). That puts a whole new flavor into this dish.

God calls Miriam and Aaron aside and chastises them for gossiping about Moses and his wife. Man, does He give them a talking to! Not only is He angry that they would talk badly about Moses in the first place, but also that they had the audacity not to be afraid to do so. As if God wouldn't step up and go to bat for His beloved. People, please.

One thing that puzzles me a little is why didn't Aaron become leprous as well? Why only Miriam? Maybe Aaron was affected more by seeing his sister fall ill than he would have been by falling ill himself? Who knows what he had to face going back into the camp with his tail between his legs while Miriam was left outside for a week. The questions, the stares, the whispers, the blame...I bet they were a heavy weight to carry for some time. Perhaps the Lord knew they needed to be separated from each other in order to truly repent of their sins rather than fall right back into them? If both had been afflicted and sent outside the camp for 7 days, they would have a whole week to commiserate and get themselves even deeper into trouble. I know that would be something my kids would be likely to do.

Truth is, only God knows; I certainly don't. I've often said that if I could understand the reasons behind everything that God does, then He wouldn't really be much of a God, would He? He'd be more like a really good Pastor. Human. Limited by what I'm limited by intellectually. We're not on the same plane and the understanding of that is where true faith begins. We CAN'T understand His ways/reason/methods. We're not capable. What we CAN do is trust that He knows what He's doing and has our best interest at heart. I trust God knew what He was doing then, and that He's knows what He is doing now. Do you?

The Roundabout Way to Get a Dog.

"At the Lord's command they encamped, and at the Lord's command they set out. They obeyed the Lord's order, in accordance with his command through Moses." Numbers 9:23

A little while back, my husband and I were contemplating some serious changes for our family. We believed God was leading us to move into a new area in order to bring hope and light there. Things were moving right along and everything was falling into place. 

And then it stopped. 

The dog I swore I'd never get.

What I wouldn't give for a pillar of fire at this time! What happened? Did we do something wrong? Was this all just an exercise in obedience?  We're we wrong about where we thought the Lord was leading us? Perhaps it was just to get me to agree to get another dog. 

The truth is, I have no idea why we had to go through what we did. Maybe I'll know why in a month or a few years, but right now I'm left to wonder. However, as much as there is that I don't understand about this season, I feel there is one lesson that I've taken away already: Be happy to be where you are; you can be a light right here, right now. OK, well that is sort of two lessons, but whatever. :O)

I was rather content in our current location until the thoughts of moving into a much larger, newly remodeled historical home started being thrown around like candy at a parade. Each bite I took was sweeter than the last and before I knew it, I had tired of the home God had blessed us with not that long ago. Suddenly, this 3 bedroom bungalow was suffocating our 6 person family and we simply had to get out. Here's where we (my husband and I both) veered off course. In our minds, our goals had shifted. It was a very slow and gradual shift. So slow that we didn't really notice it until after all the hullabaloo died down. As much as we tried to keep our eyes set on the Lord's will, we were blinded, at least in part, by greed. The desire to "move on up" much sooner than we'd ever thought possible started overshadowing our desire to be the light of Jesus in a dark place. We still wanted to serve the Lord there and we sought Him through prayer and council the entire time (and still are), but we ended up feeling as though there was a point where we were more concerned about the house itself above all other things.

Now that this train has slowed to a stop, at least for the moment, and now that the excitement has died down, I can see clearly again. I love this house as much as I did the first day I saw it, despite the fact that most would say it's a bit too small for us now. Also, surprisingly enough for those that know me, I love that mutt pictured above. (Former die-hard cat person right here.) Do I think this means that God won't ask us to try to trust him with a big move again in the future? Only God knows! I'm trying not to focus on that. What I am trying to focus on is what He wants us to be doing in the time He has allotted for us here. Clearly we're not done. 

Not everything God calls us to do is going to be as exciting as a big change in location or as "glamorous" as being "that family" who did "that crazy thing for God". It's been my experience that more often than not, God calls us to work behind the scenes, in the dirt, in our own backyard, when no one else is paying any attention. There is so much suffering and need right here, right underneath our noses. We can shine just as brightly here as we can anywhere because our light is The Lord, and He is everywhere.

How are you a light in your community and/or surrounding areas? Where has God lead you to lead others? I'd love to hear about it! Comment below and let me know!

The Priestly Blessing Breakdown

I was reading this morning and the study Bible (NIV) I use broke down the Priestly Blessing (Num. 6:24-26) and made me think about it as I never had before. I thought I would share it so here it is!

"Five parts conveyed hope that God would (1) bless and keep them (favor and protect); (2) make his face shine upon them (be pleased); (3) be gracious (merciful and compassionate); (4) turn his face toward them (give his approval); (5) give peace."

I can't even attempt to remember how many times I have heard this blessing. I grew up going (sporadically) to several Lutheran churches and watching Robert Schuller and the Crystal Cathedral on TV so, if you are familiar with either of those 2 things, you know what I'm talking about! 

Seeing this familiar blessing broken down in this simple manner has shined new light on it for me and, therefore, a deeper meaning. I hope this does the same for anyone else who reads it!

Sorry, Moses.

Most times I've decided to read the Bible from cover to cover, I have given up somewhere in the midst of Leviticus and skipped ahead to lighter books. Leviticus is riddled with detailed instructions from God on how Moses was to build His Holy places and with directions on every sacrifice imaginable in vivid, gruesome detail. By the time I'm a few chapters in I am thanking the Lord for sending His Son, Jesus, to be the final sacrifice so that I don't have to do any of these rituals to be saved, and this time around it was no different...at first. Somewhere beyond the altar measurements something else stood out to me, peeking around the line after line of bloodshed and butchery, whispering: "hey! look over here!".

Well, I looked, and this time I noticed the significance of the sacrifices more than just the sacrifices alone. I can't tell you how many times I have read this book and been unable to see beyond the acts themselves, but that's one of the many reasons I love the Bible. It's like an onion.......oh never mind, I'm not going to go there. :O)

One of those things I noticed was the significance of all the preparations the people, especially the priests, had to go through. With a perfunctory glance, God looks like the micro-manager to end all micro-managers and I find myself asking Him "Seriously? Is this all really necessary?". Well, today He answered me. He said "Yes, it was." See, the true concept of complete holiness has always been a hard one for me to grasp and even harder for me to put into words, but I'll try anyway. God is perfect (holy). In Him there is no darkness. None whatsoever. So, to offer Him something that He could possibly accept, it too has to be perfect, as does the person offering it. This poses a bit of a problem, doesn't it? There are no perfect people. Enter the myriad of rituals and regulations the priests and people must perform just to present an offering to the Lord. These rules were set forth for the people's protection. Approaching an all holy God in an unholy way was a recipe for disaster. Why does God care? Why couldn't He just look over our imperfections in body and spirit and accept our offerings as is? Because that is less than perfect. He can't be less than perfect, it's against His very character. Marinate in that for awhile.

The other thing that stood out to me this morning was how God made all sorts of mandatory festivals and celebrations (all with their own strict rules, of course) throughout the year for His people. My knee jerk reaction to reading about these events was always that they sounded like a tremendous amount of work to pull off. I was always glad I didn't have to keep them. But today I had a different thought. Today I realized that they were meant to remind the people of all that God had done for them for generations to come. Annual  physical retellings of how God has cared for His people and delivered them, time and time again, thoughtfully designed to teach the future generations of His truth. Now I wish I had been celebrating them this way all this time. Of course my family celebrates Christmas and Easter, but it's always been in a very secular, non-intentional, non-God centered way. Sure, we go to church and talk about what the seasons mean to us as followers of Christ, but it always ends with the kids more excited about the prospect of presents and candy rather than a God who loves them enough to send His only Son to die for them. I think I'm doing something very wrong here.

Of all the books in the Bible, I have held the least regard for Leviticus. Well, Moses, consider this my sincerest apology. I have missed the point for many years when I saw this book as irrelevant to my life now. I will no longer make that mistake.

What do you do to point to Jesus during the holiday seasons? What traditions do you keep in your family to ensure that the meaning is not lost over time? I'd love to hear about them!

Rest! Rest, I said!

A few months back I did a self-led study on rest. More specifically, the Sabbath-rest. The first verses I came upon where Hebrews 4:9-11 and what I read there came as quite a shock! 

NOT resting is DISOBEDIENCE!!

This may have been common knowledge to some but it was life altering for me! I had been going a mile a minute at this point in time, hardly having a moment to rest, let alone an entire Sabbath day. There was always so many tasks to get done and places to go, so many people to take care of, so many things to clean, cook, manage.....I felt guilty for even sitting down when there were so many other things I "should" be doing. I even folded laundry standing up because I was so worn out that if I sat down to fold the clothes, I'd immediately start falling asleep. This was either a testament to how comfortable my couches are, or, to how ragged I was running myself just trying to keep up.

God knew people's propensity to behave this way, and He knew it was not good. He put down some harsh guidelines back in Moses' day just to draw the people's attention to its importance (Ex 31:12-17). It was during this study that I became aware that I HAD to change something. 

Making sure that our family had a Sabbath where we could rest and reflect on what God is doing in our lives was no easy feat. My husband works a demanding job that often requires late nights and some weekends so weekdays/nights were out right off the bat. Since Saturdays were often a work day for my husband and also the only day the local farmer's market and mom2mom sales were running (necessary for a family of 6 w/ young kids!), it was out too. That left Sunday. 

I worked for our church at the time, running the Nursery. I was there for 7 hours every Sunday morning and I can assure you that it was not time spent resting! I loved my job there and people I worked with even more, but, after months of prayer and Godly counsel, I knew it had to go. It was the only thing I cut and be able to put a day of rest in its place on a regular basis. I couldn’t get rid of the kids, the house, or the husband’s job! (Not that I would, of course! :O) ) Even though it was a very tough decision, I have not regretted it.

The revelation that not resting was being disobedient to God was a huge one. Realizing that God commanded us to take a break and just enjoy his presence for a whole day each week has brought much needed peace into my life. Is life perfect now? Are my days of getting stressed out over? No, of course not, but now there is a day I truly look forward to: A day that my family goes together to worship and serve God at our church; a day that my family spends together without a hectic agenda to adhere to; a day that I throw frozen pizzas in the oven, pop some corn, and sit down to a movie with my kids in the evening. We all look forward to our Sabbath Sundays now and we’re more available to God because of it. I guess God does know what’s best! ;-)

“Truly my soul finds rest in God; my salvation comes from Him. Truly He is my rock and my salvation; He is my fortress, I will never be shaken.” (Ps 62:1-2)

Let me start by explaining....

Years and years ago my life looked much different than it does now. For the sake of this blog, I"ll refer to this earlier stage in my life as the "Mohawk Era". Even though I did not don a mohawk during that era's entirety, it serves as an accurate metaphor for my whole state of existence at that time. (Did I mention I like metaphors?)  What do you think of when you envision a mohawk? Hard? Spiky? Rebellious? Independent? Angry? Dirty? Rockin'? Reckless? Awesomesauce? Yes, and also, yes. :O)

So, what happened? How does one go from defying and loathing God to falling at the very same God's feet with a heart of repentance? Well, folks, that's fodder for forthcoming blog posts so you'll have to stay tuned to hear about that. :O) For this post I just want to make some things clear right from the start, so as to hopefully deter any confusion on the matter in the future.

FACTS:

1) I am not a scholar in any way, shape, or form. I do not claim to have all the answers now, nor will I ever. 

2) That being said, I have my beliefs which I've come to through research, prayer, and experience. I exercise my right to defend them respectfully and I will extend the same courtesy to you.
3) Discussions on the blog are welcome, even if you disagree with me, as long as you remain respectful to everyone involved.
4) I'm going to pray for you, even if you don't believe that God is on the other end listening. Don't be offended, Jesus commands that His followers pray for everyone. I'm simply doing what I believe.

Well, that should do it for now! My hope is that this blog will start some meaningful and heartfelt conversations about what God is, what God isn't, and what He's doing in our world. Being a mom of 4 young children (the oldest turns 7 in November) who also takes care of an infant during the week and is active in church and her kids' school, I don't have a lot of time to meet and discuss the things in life that matter with people in person. Hopefully this will give anyone who wants to be involved in the conversation the ability to do so without the constraints of time and physical location.

Thanks for reading!